So you’ve been done wrong, talked ugly about, gossiped about, ran down, hurt, trashed, etc. Not once, but many times, and by the same person. What do you do? What does God say to do? We’re told to forgive, and we do. We’re told to forgive 70 x 7, and we do. We’re told to love those that hate us, and we do. So what’s the problem?
Somewhere along the way, we forgot to forget all those times that the person hurt and used us, and did mean things to us, and behind our backs. Does this mean we have not forgiven, or does it mean we have simply not forgotten in order not to be hurt again?When We Forgive but Don’t Forget Click To Tweet
The bible says many times to forgive, and how many times we are to forgive. But some people have the mistaken concept that to forgive is also to forget, and that is not biblical, nor is it true. To forgive is not to hold the person accountable for that wrong anymore, but forgiveness does not mean that we have forgotten what they have done.
The bible says when someone slaps the one cheek, to turn and offer them the other cheek also. I believe that we are to do that because God tells us to do that. But what is one to do when they have run out of cheeks, so to speak, after so many times of this? Are we above being human, in that after so much of this, we tire of it? Or do we continue to let someone use and hurt us?
I believe God gave us brains and minds to think with, and to use. Our brain tells us that we would be fools or idiots to continue to offer up a cheek to be slapped, after so many times of being slapped in the face.
How many of us, being human as we are, would continue to offer up that cheek? We are commanded by God to forgive. But I have a hard time believing that God would want us to forget our pasts, because our pasts are what make us who we are and how we relate to our present.
To err is human, but to forgive is devine………how many times have we heard that saying? All sin and come short of the glory of God. None are above sinning, and none are so perfect and good that they can do no wrong. But some cannot admit they are wrong, and cannot say they are sorry. How does one forgive someone like this?
I say that we forgive them as we forgive anyone…..but again I say that to forgive is not the same thing as forget. When we forgive someone, we are not saying we have forgotten what they have done or said. We are saying we forgive them. Most of us will probably admit that we will forget when we are too senile to remember anymore.
God gave us memories for a reason. If God intended for us to forget all that done to us wrong, why would God have made us with minds that remember? There is no separation in the mind for the good memories and the bad. They all go to one mind, in one place, and not separate categories. We cannot simply delete the bad or unpleasant memories. They become part of us and who we are.
If you are beating yourself up over the lack of forgetting a wrong or wrongs done to you, stop. If you are one of those that think if we do not forget, we have not really forgiven, pull out your bible and read it. God made us the way we are for a reason, and experiences, some of them bad, are what make us a better witness for Christ. We cannot witness what we do not know.